I have been quiet for quite a while now... I have kept myself away from blogging, from writing even... I am a little apprehensive about expressing myself, about putting my thoughts into words, sply written words... There is a surge of emotions tht gets unleashed every single time... A million different things that cross my mind in one flash and it becomes impossible to put them into perspective... Fitting them into the limited vocabulary that our language offers becomes a herculean task....
More importantly, I am scared about what I might uncover... Scared that I might actually not be as insecure and incompetent as I believe I am... That I have the strength to survive anything that comes my way... That I might take pride in all I have acheived till today... Feel good about the person I am, the woman I can be... Truly start believing that I am the best... That I deserve nothing but the best...
I opened my playlist today and this is the first song that played... The eyes misted over, The heart yearned... Wishing that somebody would understand... That somebody would give a damn... That somebody would take over my life and lead me, at every step... That somebody would just Fix Me...
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
I know what I should have... I also know what I can have... And I know the gap... And trust me, it hurts every single night... Every single time that I am made to realise that I am not good enough... That I am expecting too much... Aiming too high... Wanting unrealistic things...
Its another sleepless night that I am headed into... And its just one of many to come... But someday, I would sleep easy and sleep happy...
Till then, Cheers to all you women out there, who have loving arms holding you and soothing words easing you into the world of dreams... Sweet dreams!! :-)
8 comments:
someday you surely will!
and honestly we all are waiting!
for that SOME DAY!
hugss!
woman....stop these stupid dedications to women in love n wid men n all that crap...
c'mon ya...go back n read yer own second para....what u've written is the truth 99% of the time....that it's u who wants to cling on to supposed delusions of inadequacy...and others who say that u aren't gud enuf are either plain jealous of u or afraid of the fact that your success will bring out to ligh their failures.
trust me....there's nothing wrong with leading yourself down the path u wanna go...n u dont need nobody's help.
be your namesake once again.....APARAJITA.
*hugs
and now some scolding
exactly what perceptions has written
you are done with all this oh-i-wish-someone-held-me..if u demand the best u will get the best trust me.
And its better to do your own thing than settle for the second best.
@ AD - Tight hug rite bak at u.. :)
@ Perceptions - Woman!!! I know what u sayin.. U know I do.. I neva stopped being my namesake.. I wil always be the woman I am supposed to be.. I m just evolving.. Lemme do tht at my pace :-)
@ WSW - Hugs to u too dear!! I hav always had the best, and I hav always been the best.. Not all I write is autobiographical!! ;)
you havent blogged for a very long time!
Could identify with a lot of what u have written.
Yes, we have control over how we can react to what happens to us.
BUT, there are times when we simply make a choice ... the choice to go into self-saddening-thoughts ... the choice to not forget those who have left us.
We humans are complex creatures and do the msot illogical of things ... heart over rides the 'brain' !!
u take care ... and hang on !
The feelings, the emotions..they felt familiar. Felt like I was listening to myself speak.
Its not a pleasent experience, walking down the memory lane...
long time!
i love the song :) looove it
and, you know what? fact is - you will survive.
Post a Comment