Solace....or the lack of it :-)

Depression is a fad. You love living in misery. It gives you an insulation from the real world. You don't face problems, dont even try to solve them. What you do is keep crying and proclaiming how no one in the world cares about you, how everyone is out to get you. You panic at the slightest sign of change. You heave and haw and act as if the world is falling apart because you are having to make a slight change. You pretend to be all grown-up and worldly wise, but actually you are immature, practically a kid. You always want things your way. You crib and complain till you get your way. However, you don't want to give anything in return. You are a hypocrite of the first order. You think something, say something else and do something that is way beyond the sphere of the last two. You worry about the silliest of things, spend hours to come to a decision and yet every decision you take is hasty and illogical. You have no clue what you want. You dish out advice and global gyan at the drop of a hat, and all you say is so profound and sounds so genuine that it inspires other people. But you do not follow even an iota of the crap you preach. You want to live your life in a certain way, however you don't want to let anyone else live it that way. The world may be your play ground but the playmates are not to move at your bidding. So honey, chill, get real and get a life. And honestly, stop sounding so morose all the time. One would think that you are being tortured in a confinement cell somewhere, not living the life you always dreamed about.
A lot of this was said. A lot of it implied. And some, I am sure was just imagined by her in the mindfucked state that she was. She just wanted things to be the way they were. She could not comprehend what had happened to them. Or again, maybe nothing had. Maybe everything was fine and she was just obsessing. What she found more astonishing was what came after this... I love you. You are awesome, simply the best. Doesnt matter what I say or do, you are the best.

Really, I mean, really who was she kidding. She is the best when she sounds all chirpy and happy, and its not rocket science to figure that out. So does that mean that she should stop voicing concerns? She is not even able to voice the right ones, her mind is so clouded. The words always come out wrong. She still hasnt been able to say what is bothering her. Does she even know? Maybe it is not meant to be or maybe it is meant not to be. Who is to know? Who is to say? Who is to judge?