New beginnings!!! , I guess

Life has always been a roller coaster. The ups are euphoric where u feel like the queen of the world...The downs are so mindfucking that u dont know whether u wud survive them. The last 6 months have passed in a whirlwind. A lot of events in our life are beyond our control, So, no use to cribbing abt them. But there is so much we can change. So much we can do to enrich our lives, make it more fulfilling, more worth living. Life shudnt just be lived, it needs to be lived to the fullest. Not just survived on a day to day basis, but enjoyed on a moment to moment basis. My roommate has this placard which I end up reading everyday but never bothered to ever implement it in life. It says....

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference

Then came new year and the usual list of resolutions. I promised myself that there would be atleast one resolution that I wud conscientiously follow. Everyone hoped and prayed that it wud be "Losing weight and getting in shape." I decided to pursue sumthin that I have essentially craved for ever since I can remember - Happiness.
So my resolution became the pursuit of happiness. I decided that I would only do things that give me happiness, in its truest form. No telling people that 'its ok' when all you wanna do is cry. No pretending to be happy while hoping that somebody wil read the sadness in your eyes. No looking for ur happiness in everyone else's happiness when they wud never do the same. Sounds self-centered, maybe it is. I just felt that I owed it to myself. To for once, do the things that give me happiness. So thts how this started.

This year that has been full of surprises. Got over phobias, experimented with things. Relinquished dead relationships, formed new bonds. Unlearned the compromise that I called life, rediscovered lost passions. And its only 52 days into the new year.... There's so much to come. So much to discover. So many things I wanna try. Feels so good to fall out of love wth the world and fall in love with oneself. To break free of stagnation and the writer's block.

P.S. U cant imagine how long I have debated with myself before I posted this, how long I thought before the thoughts got translated into words. The pain is unbearable when your mind is bursting with thoughts and the pen is itching to turn them into coherent lines. But nothing happens. Its like when a painter has forgotten colour coordination. Like when a person has forgotten how to use a spoon and fork. Utterly frustating, almost soul-wrenching. :-)

So till we meet again.......Cheers to new beginnings!!!!